Borrowing... what is it about this simple act that can cause a world of drama between friends? Fights over lost necklaces, $20 loans and misplaced iPods have been the cause of many a bestie bust-up - amazing, when you consider $20 is sooooo not important compared to a lasting friendship. But the fact is, lending money or things to people is about much more than the object itself - it's about trust. And if this trust is betrayed, it's natural to feel hurt, angry and resentful. So if you want to avoid another argument over a $10 bangle, here are the new rules for borrowing...

Don't lend anything you'd be crushed to lose

You know that silver ring you got for your 16th birthday? Keep it to yourself. Objects with huge sentimental value are too precious to even consider lending out. Ditto anything you can't replace, like a camera holding pics that you haven't uploaded to your computer yet. So on the flip side, if a friend offers to lend you her brand new $500 iPod, think twice before taking it. If you lose it or someone steals it, you're in a very tough position with your friend (and your bank balance).

Borrow with permission

The line between "borrowing" and stealing is pretty clear: if you don't ask, it's not yours to take (yep, even if you intend to return it!). That includes pinching a dress from your sister's wardrobe and hoping to sneak it back in the same night you wear it. And if a friend offers to lend you something that's obviously not hers to lend, politely turn the offer down. Only lend to people you trust

Sounds obvious? Maybe, but before you trust a girl you've just met with your fave new purse, get to know her properly. If someone has a bad track record in returning things (or you've heard they do) don't lend them anything until they've proved their reliability. It's that simple.

Drop the pressure

As kids it's drummed into us to share and be generous, so when someone asks to borrow something, saying "no" can bring on an attack of the guilts. But if it's an item that's important to you, you should never feel bad for refusing to lend it. Explain to your friend how important the object is to you, and that you wouldn't lend it to anyone in the world - not even her. And do the right thing by your friends, too: if they don't offer to lend you something after a few hints, drop the subject.

Appreciate genuine mistakes

So imagine the worst has happened. You've lent something out to a pal and she's lost it/destroyed it/her dog ate it. If your friend admits her mistake and offers a genuine apology, appreciate her honesty and forgive and forget. On the other side of the equation, 'fess up if you stuff up. Spilt red cordial over your bestie's new white skirt? A friendship is far more likely to survive a bit of red cordial than it is you lying to cover your tracks.

The lawyers say...

As a general rule, if you borrow something from someone and lose it, it's your responsibility to replace it.